I received an email from a listener of my show (I’ll call him “Bill”) who said he was having trouble relating to certain people in his life. He said that his friend told him that he (Bill) was very critical and controlling of others, and seemed to be angry more often than not, and Bill needed to chill.
Bill thought his friend was simply wrong and didn’t understand what was really happening.
Bill wrote in his email to me, “If I criticize someone about something they have done or things they’ve said, I do it with the intent of increasing their awareness and helping them to improve. I am giving them constructive criticism.”
Does this sound like someone you know? Does it sound like you?
I used to be a highly judgmental person, and I would also give “constructive criticism” with the intent of increasing someone’s awareness and helping them to improve.
- Reject that person’s behavior and stay
- Reject that person’s behavior and leave
- Accept that person’s behavior and stay
- Accept that person’s behavior and leave
Otherwise, you may just be facilitating resentment by your good intentions.